ups and downs

5:28 a.m. 21 March 2005

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Today's addition: Yesterday ended up being fun for me, we passed the baby and I played Munchkin, a card game, with the guys. I realized during church that it wasn't sleep I was missing...it was fun.

And in bad news, I have to cancel my dentist appointment today because I have an infection in my left breast and need to go to the doctor for it later this morning. It's sore, red, and swollen even though my milk has been drying up for 10 days. When Becca comes over to babysit for my dentist's apointment, I'll need a nap instead of being out and about in the morning and the afternoon.

And I think we're going to take Levi to the vet's office. He's not getting better. Last time they kenneled him it wasn't that expensive. Between taking care of Hannah, me, and a little bit of taking care of the house, I'm not getting the pills down him regularly enough for him to improve. He deserves better, and I deserve not to feel like it's all my fault... Clint suggested the kennel and so'd my mom. What would I do if people didn't remind me I don't have to do it all?



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So I tried to add this entry around 11 am yesterday. No such luck between the baby squawking and diaryland being too busy. Then I tried several times during the rest of the day yesterday and diaryland was always too busy…or down since my website has been down for several days now.

I’ve been working more on Hannah’s baby books when I get a chance. That means laundry has piled up at my house, and the whole place is dirty. But I’ve been sitting more while working on the books, so I’m more rested and I’ve tried to get more sleep. Some nights are better than others. It really helps when Clint is home and can take care of her for a while so I can get in a 4 or 5 hour nap. I haven’t seen him as much, so we went out Friday night. Actually, we took Hannah to his parents’ and we came back home. We hung out here for several hours and then we went to dinner. We talked the whole time because we had built up a week’s worth of conversation that we had never both been awake to have.

Hannah is doing well. She’s able to focus on a face now. And in the last two days, she’s able to follow an object (like a finger) moving in front of her face. And evidently she’s starving now, so I’m gonna go feed her.

I asked my cousin to be Hannah’s godmother, and Clint asked his brother Tim. We’re taking her back home to have her baptized, probably April 23 or April 30. My cousin is supposed to call me today to tell me which weekend is better for her. Then I’ll call Father Bill to set the actual date and time.

Oh I so need a day out. Clint went to Michigan yesterday to pick up his engine so I had Hannah all day by myself. Six days in a row, and his impending gaming session tonight (which means I’ll have her by myself again) have me a bit stir crazy. I love her but it’s hard to see him go on with his hobbies and friends and stuff and have to sit back at home with her. I guess I should try to get out more but I feel like I’m responsible for her, like I should be with her. A lot of my emotions are still due to lack of sleep, and such a change in how my day’s activities are determined. It’s just an adjustment from doing what you want when you want to fitting what you can in between feedings and fussing. She’s not a bad baby. She doesn’t cry that much if you hold her a lot. But it’s hard not to feel a little tied down when you don’t even have two free hands.